Ok, I’ll admit it… that’s a pretty Buzzfeedy title. But this is a list post, and that’s what it deserves. Plus, in true Buzzfeed fashion, I was inspired by a post on reddit. A post on reddit about good old Craigslist.
Craigslist is one of the gifts of the Internet. You can advertise stuff to sell and look at stuff people are selling. It’s organized by county in every state. There’s no obligation until you call the owner to meet up.
But the best thing about Craigslist is that every so often, a gem shows up in the ad lists. Whether it’s people selling human cages, people looking for waiters dressed as Dragonball Z characters, or this guy, there’s always something entertaining to find.
Some of the most entertaining posts are people trying to sell cars. Here are seven somewhat recent Craigslist posts that are guaranteed to make you crack up.
- The “Project” Miata
Some of the best Craigslist ads are the ones that have no information included. Maybe the author wants to bump up the mystery factor, or perhaps they’re just too embarrassed to provide any of the specs. When it comes to this Miata, I’m not sure which is the case.
The first thing that catches my eye here is definitely the paint job. Those stripes sort of resemble the old Macintosh apple logo. Wait a minute, they’re the Hotwheels colors. This is a full-size Hotwheels car, right?
Okay, I can get past the cringeworthy paint. Is there anything else bad about this car? Oh … oh, yes.
Stenciled on the front bumper are the words “SPACE SHUTTLE.” And they’re stenciled backward. This car wants to be treated like an ambulance, because God forbid you find a space shuttle in your rearview mirror approaching fast. With those stunning jet engines on the back, you better move out of the way. Don’t get too close to the flames. Now the paint job sort of makes sense.
- The Crash Landing
We all get some crazy ideas — let’s make a pickle and jelly sandwich, let’s paint my room black, let’s prank call the police — but usually regret acting on them instantly. Wonder what this guy was feeling once he began this masterpiece.
It’s a mechanical sandwich. On the top layer, you have a 1963 Mooney airplane. On the bottom, there’s a 1984 Corvette frame and suspension. In the middle sits a 1998 Dodge V6 engine. The result is a “one-of-a-kind” creation.
The guy says the plane crashed in a field, but it looks like it crashed headfirst into the stretched frame. Maybe he’d be better off replacing Michael Bay’s special effects with this stuff. After all, in his own words, “…all U need is Vision and capital, anything is possible.”
- The Shaggin Waggin
I knew this sounded familiar. These guys tried to replicate the car from Dumb and Dumber. Whether or not they succeeded … well, that’s up to you.
The car is built from a 1998 Buick Century, and judging by the way that car looks normally, these dudes probably did the world a favor.
They want you to take this big dog to places like Burning Man and the bar to pick up chicks. They swear this car will help you bury the hatchet with people you hate because they’ll be so impressed by it. And hey, it comes with a matching Mutt Cutts dog suit you can wear while you’re bumping that subwoofer.
- Where’s the Porsche?
What is this thing, exactly? Here’s a bit of a backstory. VW made the Laser 917 in an effort to mimic the Porsche 917. While it was a bold effort, nothing could ever match up to a real Porsche, of course …
Until we come to this creation. It comes with a flamethrower on top, a taser up front, and skirts on the bottom to give it a “hovercraft look.”
And why, oh why did its creators do this? Nobody knows. Just stare in awe.
- The Geo Tracker Batmobile
This is actually so adorable, I could actually picture myself in it for a second. I just find it fascinating that out of all the cars in the world that could be turned into Batmobiles, this person picked a Geo Tracker.
Surprisingly, all the body work appears to be well done. It has stubby little wings, two pretty sweet-looking jets on the back, and the signature paint job complete with the Batman logo. You can also take off the roof and make it a convertible. Even the Bat needs to ride with the top down sometimes.
- The “Beam Me Up” Boogie Van
As the owner states, this is NOT a vehicle for the shy. You better be the biggest Trekkie in town to own this lovely van. This guy got a Canadian artist to airbrush his entire van with Star Trek art. You’ll never stop seeing all of the faces this guy painted into the van. Maybe they’ll haunt your dreams.
This person definitely knows the ins and outs of this van, making it the most legit car on this list. But take a look at that interior. The plush red velvet and decorative curtains might just ignite a fantasy you don’t want to have.
- The 2010 Avocado
Avocados are one of the healthiest foods you can eat, but will driving them help your health? That remains to be seen.
This lovely little car is built from a Fiat chassis and was apparently used as a delivery car. Just help out the poor owner upgrade, why don’t you? They need money for a “2014 Kiwi.”
While cars like this are strange in an interesting and great way, I can’t help but ask again … why???
And while that question may never be answered, at least we can all sit back and have a laugh at what the Internet provides us. If you’ve got a weird car, take notes from these sellers, and maybe even make flyers as catchy as these.
And there you have it. Thanks, Craigslist, for always the best and the worst at the same time.