Hey internet, it’s me, Jason Torchinsky. Editors note: No it isn’t.
As you know, I am a Quirky Car Guy™ and also the guy who picks through the dumpster after Jalopnik brainstorming sessions and turns every single worthless, unloved POS topic idea into a real article that I expect actual humans to read and enjoy. Want to know what CRAZY name of the fabric in the seats of ’89 Ford Tempos was called? I’ll write about 800 words about it. Want to know what _____ would look like if I Photoshopped ____ onto it? Check out my mad skillz.
Want me to stop creaming my pants at every mention of a Disney Pixar Cars movie? Ehhh, too late for that, but maybe next time.
Anyway, as you also know, I am in touch with the youth™ of the internet. And ever-reliable Buzzfeed has told me that there’s a new meme floating around. They’re simply hilarious! Look at the the comedy in this! So funny!
You’ve heard of Elf on the Shelf,
now get ready for pic.twitter.com/kY7JGnS42d
— A Ward ¤ (@vivaausvegas) September 14, 2017
Well, now it’s time to put my self-proclaimed creative genius to work, and make this all about cars. So buckle up (holy shit look at that car pun I am the greatest) and see how many you can guess correctly in this OH SO FUNNY article:
You’ve heard of Elf on the Shelf, now get ready for…
(Bugatti on the potty)
(Lamborghini on the ham zucchini)
(Jeep on the sheep)
(Camaro on the sombrero)
(Ram on the yam)
(Toyota on the toy yoda)
(Porsche on the horse… uh)
(Kia on the Mia)
(Mini Cooper on the Winnie-pooper)
(Buick on the blue pick)
(Lexus on the sexist)
(Koenigesegg on the Conan’s leg)
(BMW on the P.O.W.)
(FORD ON THE LORD)
So there you go. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get ready for my next article, IF CARS COULD POOP.
(Jalopnik, if you’re reading this, I’d still love to write for you. Still waiting for your email…)